onepiecefandomcom-20200222-history
User blog:DancePowderer/779 Abridged
Just fun enough to make it funny. Cover: Zoro drinks a bunny under the table and Nami overdresses. Zoro: Hanging on a ledge with a shit-eating grin after taking out a 12 story rock giant. I could not look any more badass right now. I did just like you told me to, master. Mihawk: Okay, you jive turkey, listen and listen good. Your sword ain't got no swagger. Your blade need to be black so it don't break. Consider your sword a failure until you make it black all the way through. Once you go black, you never go back. And if you do you gonna be the limp-blade swordsman for the rest of yo life. Issho: Sound off if you're injured. Marine: Everyone evacuated and we're all fine, thanks to your grasp on the GRAVITY of the situation. Civilian: Good someone finally stopped the wannabe over the top landscape architect. Good thing I wasn't there. I'd've had to beat him with this broom, and you know how ugly that can get. Sai: Wow, if that guy were in the tournament, I'd have been out before I even registered. Bartolomeo: You don't want to know where this foam came from. Elisabello: Crazy bastard actually did it. So I'll forgive him for turning my signature attack into a catapult. Civilian: The factory just blew its top! We must appease its wrath! Tontas: Hey, guess what's combustible and in these tanks. Dwarf riot! Dwarf whose name I'm too lazy to look up: They can't trick us again if we wreck up the place! Trebol: Well, squeaky's down. Guess that makes me the strongest exec by default. Deal with it, fanboys. And the SAD factory just became a fireworks plant. But we will rise again as long as we have Mansherry because dramatic irony is lost on me! Leo: Hottie who isn't jailbait, you okay? Oh, guy whom I'm assuming is the captain, damn you handsome. Mansherry: You're injured. Please, let me be the white mage for people I actually like. Kyros: No need. I'm fine, these injuries are nothing to me. Don't waste your power on me. Mansherry: But I see more blood on you than flesh, and it's really no trouble for- Kyros: Look, I'm trying to look cool in front of my kid, so fuck off, will ya? Go heal the other people. Mansherry: Holy shit, what the fuck happened while I was locked up in there? Kabu: Long story short, shit caught fire. Now we can get to the battle people actually care about. Kyros: Will we be able to give my father in-law his old job back? Or will someone royally (get it?) fuck this up for everyone? The flamboyantly dressed one must die! It's now up to pirates to defeat pirates for the sake of the king. Leo: You mean Luffyland and Lawland. Kabu: Nothing like betting on the horse with the busted leg. Robin: You mean Luffy-kun and Traffy-kun. Rebecca: You mean Lucy. Mansherry: No, I mean semantics, now shut the hell up. Koala: I'm inside the rampart tower. Sabo, where the hell are you? Sabo: Just at the arena helping evacuate helpless prisoners, nothing important, little miss got ahead of herself. Besides, I'm sure you can handle whatever it is by yourself. Koala: If it were that easy I wouldn't be talking to you! Sabo: Well, you're creative, I'm sure you'll find away. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta- Koala: Luffy could be in dange- Sabo: Bitch, where the hell are you!? Usopp: Zoro! Give me your hand! Zoro: I'm fine. Sorry, but touching you severely diminishes my awesomeness. Remember the Hana Arashi incident? Usopp: Thank you! I thought I was a goner! Kin'emon: You did good, bro. Crowd: Thank you! Zoro: What part of no touching didn't you get? Unlike you, my awesomeness is actually deserved! Why are you so happy when this stupid cage is still up? It ruins any attempt at rocking pinstripes. Citizen: According to Viola, the enemy's forces have diminished. Only three people are left. Viola: WRONG! Down to two as of 4 seconds ago. Let's watch the footage! Luffy: Bellamy, what did I tell you about being a dick? Bellamy: Shut up and listen to why I may or may not be the biggest waste of life in this arc! If I die, I'll finally be acknowledged by Doflamingo! Luffy: Why? Bellamy: I do what I want! Luffy: You know something's wrong when I'm the most rational guy in the room! You two have conflicting definitions of "Free", and no, fangirls, this has nothing to do with swimming. Bellamy: So what? If death is the only way to get senpai to notice me, then so be it! Luffy: Wow, I haven't hit you and yet you're already talking like you have a concussion. Bellamy: I'm going to smack talk until the end. It's been fun. But this is where you die! Luffy: Gum Gum.... Homage! Bellamy: Retrospect is such a bitch. Luffy: Homicidal fruitcaaaaaaaakkkkke! Doflamingo: I so rarely get a chance to be poetic. But won't he be in for a shock, when he finds out he arrived late for your surprise funeral! Eh, Law? Category:Blog posts